i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
