Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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