Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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