In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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