I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize