My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
