just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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