The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
