Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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