just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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