I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We have started to decorate penises.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
