ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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