Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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