Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
