why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
