Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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