I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had to cum in my sink.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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