the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
