I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
