that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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