Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
