your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
