We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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