Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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