Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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