dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Damn victory sex feels great
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
