Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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