I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
