I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
