Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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