I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
