Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Please don't give away my fajitas
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