My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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