I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
