Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
