Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
