It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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