Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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