do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
