god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
