On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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