omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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