It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize