i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
