At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
