just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
