check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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