Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
