the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
