I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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