He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
