Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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