a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
