Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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