One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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