I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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