Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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