The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize