you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
